All of us have been in situations where we didn’t win. During the recent Olympics there were only three medalists for each event – and only one person or team that would take the gold.

Almost twenty-five years ago I was at a real cross-roads and a friend recommended est. est was popular in the late 1970’s and into the 80’s. It was group-experience seminar that incorporated some Zen influences. It was founded by a fellow named Werner Erhard. The training was held in hotel ballrooms over two weekends. I had my misgivings, but agreed to go.

I prayed that I would be guided to take what was good out of it and ignore the nonsense. Some would probably differ with me on what was good and what was nonsense – but I’m the one writing this.

The point of est is to get it. And to fully appreciate it you really do need some kind of experience to appreciate what it is. At the end of the 2nd weekend we got it. Well, some of us did – some, as the speaker said, would get it as we were driving home, or two weeks later. Some of us would get it and we wouldn’t like it. It is a concept – a life principle. Are you ready????

What is, is; what is not, is not.

I hope my punctuation is correct. That statement is profound. Another way to look at it is – don’t worry about things that don’t exist. Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched etc.

It seemed like a much bigger deal after a second week of deprivation and spending $400.

The other important thing that I learned from the experience is that most people always win. How can that be? You apply for a job, but are not selected so you win by announcing that you didn’t really want the job anyway. Or worse, he only got it because he slept with the boss.

I ran second in a 100 meter event, but the referee wouldn’t let me re-tie my shoe.

In some ways this is the concept of “It’s not my fault.” or “I’m the victim.” I hit the pedestrian but “She should have seen me coming.”

So what’s my point? Sometimes we do poor work. Sometimes we make mistakes. Own them. Ask for guidance or apologize or do whatever you need to do and admit that you aren’t perfect. So how do you win by doing that? By learning from the mistake and moving on. Stop telling yourself that the other person was a jerk. Maybe he is – and maybe I did something wrong too.